Socializing. Strange thing isn’t it? You get thrown into a
group of strangers you’ve never known, your mind flusters, your heart
palpitates and time itself freezes. Do you, A, hastily retreat into a corner
like a trapped animal. B, go forth and embrace your inner social demon. Or
maybe you’re more of a C; a social germ that only cultures in the right
conditions.
The array of different personalities in humanity is vast. A
spectrum of personalities more diverse than the stars in the sky. Sorry, what?
Types of personalities in the world = world population +
multiple personalities = 7.4 billion plus about 20 million (Ceteris Peribus).
Number of stars in the sky = greater than 100 billion?
Okay, fine. The wide spectrum of different personalities in
humanity is comparable to the size of your mom.
But I’ve got better things to do than to list the things in
the universe bigger than your mom, no matter how short that list might be.
Through careful research during my occasional social flooding as a Social
Cicada, I’ve compiled, I’ve tested, I’ve ascertained and today I bring you snippets
from the highly acclaimed book: The Social Cicada’s guide to the Social
Spectrum!
Full version available
online for only $12.99, get yours today here!
The Social Cicada
Pharaoh Cicadas live underground for 17 years before
emerging from the ground, loud and lively, looking to mate. In rare but
disastrous occasions of flooding however, underground Cicadas are forced to
emerge from the ground, seeking the solace of dry ground with many other
insects that are likely to do the same thing. Similar to them, Social Cicadas
live awkwardly with their head in the ground for extended periods of time until
faced by a biblical flood of socialism that forces them to mingle.
The Social Wallflower
Like the name, or as Emma Watson suggests, Social Wallflowers live their social life at the walls of a social event. Respirating, observing, and soaking in the light of a dim wall lamp. Social Wallflowers differ from Social Cicadas in two main ways similar to their zoological counterparts. Flowers typically grow together in a field and are bunched together into a nice bouquet of Social Wallflowers you see at a gathering, unlike the Cicada which sucks on tree roots like how a Social Cicada sucks his thumb at his social predicament.
The other difference, is the difference in appeal of the Wallflowers vs. the Cicadas towards the Social Butterflies (Page 89)
The Social Butterfly
Universally known for their enchanting wings, the butterfly flutters from flower to flower everyday. Just like how a Social Butterfly floats between people, Wallflowers included. Everyone enjoys being with a Social Butterfly. No depiction of a beautiful garden is complete without frolicking buterflies. And no Disney princess can be truly named one without the ability to have a butterfly land on her fingers.
But of course, by applying common principals of the food chain, one can infer that the Social Butterfly cannot be associated with certain entities for fear of becoming by-product of evolution. One common example of this would be their interactions with Social Cicadas. Beautiful, majestic creatures, just do not match well with those underground bottom feeders.
The Social Bumblebee
One common mistake to inexperienced social analyzers would be the difference between the Social Butterfly and the Social Bumblebee. Similar in many ways, butterflies and bumblebees are vital in the pollination of flowers, day after day, they go from flower to flower collecting nectar. However, if one were to get acquainted with a Social Bumblebee the difference would soon be evident. A bumblebee works its whole life collecting nectar to make honey for its queen, much like how a Social Bumblebee socializes as if he was answering to a higher power. No part of his existence would be meaningful if he does not attain gratification from his social targets.
In addition, if you aren't a social bumblebee, try stealing honey from one of them, you'll soon realize that bees sting.
The Social Beast
A mythological animal, the Social Beast comes in many forms. A werewolf, a gargoyle, a vampire, what these all have in common is their insatiable thirst for human flesh. Much like the Social Beast's thirst for human interaction. As deep underground living in your parent's basement as you are, as hidden in the closet as your sexuality is, the Social Beast will hunt you down, he will find you, and he will, socialize with you.
The Social Demon
If one were to be familiar with Revelation from the New Testament, one would know about how demons possess and influence people; maliciously propagating evil in proportions as extensive as the biblical plague. A Social Demon does just that, he engulfs entire communities, socializing, attaining followers much like the Whore of Babylon. No one is safe from Judgement Day where life ends, as we know it. No one except of course, the usual inhabitants of pestilence: disgusting, virulent insects, like the persistent Social Cicada.
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