Social Cicada's guide to the Social Spectrum Vol. 2

"Best publication in recent years! - 5/5 stars" - Rotten Potatoes

"A very well researched and entertainingly written insight into the little known world of social animals" - Manzys Institute for Research

"The most prolific writer of the 21st century!" - Mom

"I want more!" AP
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After selling out worldwide and undergoing multiple reprints, touched by months of adoring fan mail and public interviews, the writer of "The Social Cicada’s guide to the Social Spectrum" is back with his new release - Social Cicada's guide to the Social Spectrum Vol. 2.

Extrapolating from works of the renowned naturalist Charles Darwin, the Social Cicada's guide to the Social Spectrum Vol. 2 recognizes that social animals, like the animals of the natural world, adapt and evolve.

On the Origin of Species introduced the world to the concept of natural selection, whereby species evolve and diversify based on their ability to survive and reproduce. This concept is not lost on the Social Spectrum. The social characteristics of people are constantly being influenced by their need to survive and reproduce. Expose someone to a certain social environment for long enough and eventually, their social characteristics get selected out and they become a whole new animal.

So without further ado. You've asked for it! You've demanded for it! Ladies and Gentlemen, back by popular demand, I present to you - Social Cicada's guide to the Social Spectrum Vol. 2 !

Purchase the full version here for only $9.99
______________________________________________________________________________

The Social Deer

Deers live their life quietly in forests fearing that the slightest sound they make may alert the hungry wolves to their presence. In most cases, they fail to realize that the threat of a predator is non-existent. Dangerous predators have all been hunted down by humans, leaving them the potential to roam wild and free, if they choose to do so. The biggest threat to a deer however, is being caught in the headlights of a car. A weird phenomenon it is, when a deer simply freezes in front of an approaching car despite all its natural instincts to move out of the way. Much, like a Social Deer who freezes when being talked to.

The Social Anglerfish

The anglerfish is a deep sea fish that lures its prey via a long glowing growth on its head. This form of predation is much like the favorite activity of the Social Anglerfish - Fishing.

The deep sea is a dark and lonely place. Anglerfishes often find themselves starved for days resulting in them consuming any fish they meet. If you've never seen the surprised eyes of a fish when they realize the friendly glowing orb they've been swimming with, has led them into the gaping mouth of a hungry anglerfish. Try looking at the eyes of someone who has just started talking to an over-eager Social Anglerfish.

The Social Caterpillar

Hemeroplanes triptolemus is an internet famous caterpillar. For purposes of simplicity and classification, it is assumed that all Social Caterpillars are in actuality Social Hemeroplanes triptolemus-es (one can immediately recognize the benefits of this simplification).

"Is it a snake?" you may ask. And that is exactly what this caterpillar wants you to think. Social caterpillars spend their life trying to be something they are not. They think they have to be as cool as snakes to survive in the world. Do they?

At the end of the day, while one or two birds of prey may be warded off by the caterpillar's act, this mimicry doesn't ward off many insects that may attack the caterpillar. Besides, it's exhausting pretending to be snake don't you think?

A common misconception is that the Social Caterpillar would eventually undergo metamorphosis to become a Social Butterfly. Metamorphosis is not evolution. This caterpillar turns into a moth that spends its life chasing after the warm glow of a light bulb.

The Social Mushroom

An important part of the ecosystem, mushrooms grow by absorbing nutrients from material around them.The Social Mushrooms thrives in environments with lots of close-by individuals for them to siphon social energy from. Mushrooms do not undergo photosynthesis, much like a Social Mushroom does not produce his own enthusiasm. However, most mushrooms are either fantastically delicious, or strikingly psychedelic which makes them pretty alright. After all, social mushrooms are pretty fun-guys.

The Social Bacteria

Bacteria come in many shapes and sizes, but they all have one thing in common. They proliferate, they infect, and they are hard to stop. With the advent of antibiotics in the 20th century came the emergence of antibiotic resistance. Nowadays, it has become common for someone to be infected by Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus aureus, or multi-drug resistant enterococci. 

The Social Bacteria infects whole populations. Let your guard down once on your hand hygiene and the next thing you know, you're being socialized with. The Social Bacteria quickly adapts to each social environment to overcome any resistance that may be posed by clique formations or the classic resting bitch face. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Great show

I wanna take a moment to do a shout out. It's not my modus operandi to write such casual off-hand posts but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Movies are no longer what they once were. In the current age of show biz, every movie produced is either part of a cinematic universe or a Kevin Hart comedy. To go to a cinema now usually means one of two things:

1. Over-analyzing and detailed concentration in attempts to detect every intricate Easter egg hidden between the lines of a delicately written Marvel movie.

or

2. Dumb humor accentuated by hawt gals.

This wasn't the case when I recently watched The Greatest Showman on New Years eve (which by the way is also a great movie.). The Greatest Showman was an amazing show. It combined inspiring messages with amazing songwriting, acting and storytelling to give me a feeling I haven't felt in a long time.

Believe me, I am a huge fan of the marvel cinematic universe. I enjoy keeping up to date with every TV series and movie and correlating them. However, to enter a movie not expecting much and exit feeling inspired; that's a movie that doesn't come by frequently nowadays.

Every character in the movie was so relatable it was like I was them. The songs were very well written and if you haven't heard them I highly recommend so.

A Million Dreams and Never Enough really resonated with me.

So anyway. Thank you, Hugh Jackman for helping make this show possible ( I saw in an interview that he had been planning for this movie for about 7 years.), and huge props to the great acting by the rest of the cast.

Alright, fangay moment over. Out.

PEP TALK 2018 NEW YEAR NEW SHIT

Mankind. Voracious and insatiable. Impulsive and ruthless. Give him an apple, he'll take the entire plantation. Give him the moon, he'll ask for the universe. Give a man a fish, and he'll come back the next day, to over-saturate the fishing industry and decimate the entire ocean's population.

For as long as there has been light, there has been darkness. (For the following analogy to work, do ignore the fact that darkness existed before light.) And for as long as there was life, there has been greed (not hope). Every plant competes for sunlight, water, space. Every herbivore competes for the tastiest weed. Don't do drugs. And every carnivore fights for more bacon. That is life, always hankering for more.

But one species takes greed to the next level. No longer is competition simply about basic resources like food and water. Men lust for wealth, for knowledge, for technology, fame, power, sex and just about anything their minds can imagine. Millennials lust for stronger WiFi signals and Asian children lust to bring "HONOR TO THY FAMILY".

Greed is good. It makes us want to achieve more. To discover the bizarre and explore the unknown. To recognize our true capabilities and push us even further beyond. To extend our reach to the stars above. Jesse! James! Team Rocket! Blast off at the speed of light!

(It was right there. I couldn't help it... Ok, back to the topic.)

Why do we stop striving for more? Some chalk it down to pure laziness, while others blame their inborn inadequacy. I choose to believe that the mediocrity of the human race lies in what we call, contentment.

We become content with our achievements and accept that we are unable to push for more. How does the saying go again? Human potential is limitless? Or was that stupidity.

As we struggle to improve ourselves, we start looking at our past failures, our aptitude for laziness and complacency, our self worth and insecurities.

It feels good to stop pushing yourself. It feels good to sit back and enjoy what you have achieved in life. And I agree with that once in a while. Contentment is, after all, something that many religions sought after. But in the long run,  that sets a mental barrier that limits what we can achieve. Perhaps it was Man's potential for stupidity that was limitless.

Look I know, almost everyone has heard this chain of thought from someone somewhere at some point of their life. And we all get it, you can do anything you set your mind to. But everyone needs a reminder once in a while. Get self-aware, get motivated, and get going.

Hold up. We're not done here yet. Get going where?

You can't apply pure motivation and effort blindly. Greed and motivation may provide the strength to draw the bow. But, passion. Passion is the target. Fail to realize your true passion and you may shoot someone else's target. Fail to focus on your passion and you may shoot some poor guy in the ass. So ask youself, what is your true passion?

For years, I never really understood passion. Tons of articles on the internet describing passion as some sort of abstract force that people struggle to understand. Articles that I never really understood; articles that I scoffed at for over-complicating something so straightforward. I thought, that my passion was to always challenge myself academically. I thought my passion was to become a doctor.

Well, maybe part of me still feels so. But I no longer think that passion is as simplistic as a single goal. I believe that passion can be generalized into many small aspects of one's life. I believe that it is okay for someone's passion to be shallow and selfish. I believe that passions shift as life changes, but we should never forget past aspirations.

My passions are:
To always challenge myself, to take the paths that will always challenge me the most.
To impress and compete with people that are close to me.
To interact with others and have a positive impact on them.
To be good at the things I do, regardless of how trivial they may be.

I will always want to achieve more. I will always strive to be better. As such, I may always, be inadequate. I may always be insecure of my self-worth. Because I am never at where I want to be. It's exhausting when I'm trying and distressing when I lose focus. But it is what it is.

This is me reminding myself. To keep going, to keep pushing. Because that's what it's always been. Stop lazing around, and start maximizing life.

And for the rest of you. No homo.

If you think about it

If you think about it... ...

What are you saying? Was I not thinking before I spoke? Am I not capable of thought? ... ... You think I'm stupid don't you? 

No. Well. I. didn't say that.

Or does anyone that has a differing opinion from yours be considered an idiot incapable of thought? Aren't you just the smartest human being alive?

That's, not what I meant.

Then what DID you mean? That I did not think my opinion thoroughly before speaking? Well maybe you could share your chain of thought instead of questioning my views and education like they were definitely moronic. 

I just thought... ...

You thought NOTHING. So get your self-entitled condescending self outta here. I don't discuss things with assholes like you. 

*The whole world is filled with billions of people with different upbringings, educations, and experiences. So please, show some understanding if someone thinks its okay to shit on the dining table.You're not always right.*

So this is how the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper.

The world isn't the same these days. It's been a long time, since we could drink water without wearing our mouthpieces. But that's fine by me, the water used to be stinky and bitter. Now, it just stings a little.

My grandpa tells me, there used to be a time where food had substance. I'm not sure what he meant by that, but he did tell me that it was grown using chemicals in a giant test tube. Synthetic meat he called it, or something like that. I can't imagine how that might be better than simple dish of fried worms and roaches, mom says grandpa's a little confused these days.

I can't remember the last time I saw the color green. Not since the power went out. These days, the only light you get are from fires. But dad says I gotta conserve the wood or we won't be able to find our oxygen tanks. I guess this would be the last time I get to read my storybook before it's burnt for the winter.

It's a shame that all the imaginations by the ancient people would be burnt. The ancient people were so creative, they dreamt about animals that could fly up high and called them birds. They dreamt about animals that could glide through water and called them fish. They dreamt about light coming from the sky from something called a Sun. My favourite is an enormous creature they called a whale that could swim great distances and had a mouth that could swallow me whole. I wonder how there could be enough water for it to swim in though...silly ancient people.

Last night, I overheard mom and dad talking about going somewhere. That if we stayed we would starve, and everyone else was doing it. It's true, I haven't seen Jeremy Phillips in awhile. Mr Phillips did come over the other day though, I asked him where Jeremy was. He said he went to Nova Vita, but before I asked him where that was, mom told me to go to my room...grown ups.

I really do hope that if we go to Nova Vita, that it would be a place with much more roaches. Its getting hard to find them these days and I'm feeling hungrier each day. Dad doesn't seem too keen about it though, he looks at me sad whenever Nova Vita is mentioned. The same look he had when grandma left.

I haven't seen grandma since.

WITHDRAWAL OF SALES ITEM

Dear readers,

Due to unforseen circumstances, we regret to inform you that the sales item offered in the blog post: ONE BOYFRIEND FOR SALE is currently out of stock.

Details regarding when we would receive a new shipment of the product is unclear. The blutackbuddy.blogspot.com team would like to apologize for any inconvenience and disappointment caused.

For readers that have already ordered the sold out product, blutackbuddy.blogspot.com hereby offers free copies of another of our best seller: The Social Cicada's guide to the Social Spectrum . Simply click the purchase link in the preview and provide the promo code "NO BOYFRIEND" to receive your free copy.

We thank you for your kind understanding and hope you would continue visiting blutackbuddy.blogspot.com for your future reading, purchasing and entertainment needs.

Deepest apologies and warmest regards,
The blutackbuddy.blogspot.com team

Oh. My. God.

Discussing physics theories, studying for a PhD, or expressing your political views. Nothing makes one feel smarter than expressing their baseless views on religion. Is there a god? Is there an afterlife? Is there free will? Is there a meaning to life? Is global warming real? Is there a monster under your bed? Is your mother lying when she says you look good? Countless questions with millions of reasonable answers.......well, except that last question, we all know that.

So strap yourself up guys, because the prolific writer of blutackbuddy.blogspot.com is going to take you on a 5-part epic saga through his self-validated, self-affirmed views of the world. You may feel your opinions bubbling up, or your disagreement burning out of control. But fret not, my word is the truth. Anyone who disagrees with me will be punished, worse than the time your father flicked your dong for not listening to him.

On a higher power
The age-old question between atheists and the rest of the world - You can't prove that there is no god. No! You can't prove that there is a god either! If there is a god why is there evil? It doesn't matter whether there is a god, be a good person! No! We have to decide if there's a god! Why? So that someone can forgive you for killing your sister's pet hamster? Or so you can find some explanation and solace in how bad you look? Blah, blah blah....

Okay, I promise I'll stop with the ugly jokes soon (Just one more! You can do this!). But in all seriousness, I'm not interested in the philosophical repercussions of there being a higher power. 

Although, if you're deeply entranced by my views on life and must know, I just think that everyone should do good, not just for himself but for society, never regret or doubt, and always challenge the unknown. (Amen?) 

So yes, back to the bold header, is there, a higher power? I believe so. Although not one that is omnibenevolent, but more like, someone playing the Sims, with a really sweet computer (PC master race can I hear a hooyah?).  The classic argument that a being cannot be omnipotent and omniscient while being omnibenevolent, if there is so much suffering in the world.

Ever heard of dimensional theory? The one where the 0th dimension is a dot, 1st dimension - a line, 2nd dimension - a square, 3rd dimension - a cube, etc. We progress between each dimension by multiplying each dimension an infinite number of times, i.e. a line is made of an infinite number of dots. A being in the 2nd dimension, would never be able to see in the third dimension, and a being in the 3rd dimension (us) would never be able to see in higher dimensions.

However, we are still able to look and influence lower dimensions. Like when we draw on a 2D paper image. So that's my theory, our higher power, may very well be some kid, or maybe scientist (if that makes you feel better) in a higher dimension, that is experimenting or playing with us. He doesn't care or know everything happening in this little toy of his, how could he? We ourselves can look at a 2D picture or a dot but not understand what is happening in there.

You may argue that this higher being, could truly be good and benevolent. You could argue that while our higher power could be a kid with a toy, it could also be a well-educated, wise Tibetan monk that knows what he's doing. Perhaps like a skillful Sim player that isn't looking for entertainment, but to create something lovely. You could also argue, that you're not ugly (There! That's the last one!).

However, like I said, my word is the truth, and if you don't agree with me, you're an ass and I'm telling my mommy.