Universal, yet bounded by the very principles through which it propagates. It reduces nations down to mere shadows of their former selves, while being fundamental to their conception in the first place. Knowing no discrimination, it plagues all. From the most robust of men to the pure innocent child. From the most complex of men (and even perhaps entity) to the simple insect. Even the powerless near-death elderly nor the influential untouchable elites of society are not spared. It is, the bringer of death yet a giver of mercy. The mind-killer, the unchallenged dictator, the great illusionist: Fear.
To many, this may not seem like much of a surprise despite my attempt to exaggerate the morbid abilities of fear (but hey, points for trying?). After all, history and our ever-credible new age media has largely ingrained and propagated the influence fear has on the world.
When the first men roamed Earth, social ties and behaviors were relatively simpler and all that plagued men's minds was the most primal quintessential fear - the fear of death. As mankind progressed, minds diversified, cities were developed while fear, evolved. Men started fearing authority from other men of influence and divine will from gods of religion. Of course, the pervasive fear of death remained but now with an inclusion of close ones.
Then, technology developed and weapons of conflict were created out of a fear of conflict. Human behavior became more intricate, and so did fear. Fear of the murdering supernatural forces people under their blankets or toward their altars while the same fear compels them to enter horror houses for thrills. Whole nations have gone to war over fears of lack of resources, while at the same time, wars have been stopped over the very same fear.
Everyday, new potential devastating steps are being made either toward or away from a collapse of the world-as-we-know-it; all due to fear (or sexual tension, as Barney Stinson says). So, was I attempting to simply exaggerate the morbid abilities of fear, or was I doing it so you would overlook the extent of it. Surprised now?
(Okay, I may have confused myself there.)
Psychologists today have characterized different kinds of fear into five fundamental ones. Listed in order from physical fears to more psychological ones, they are: The fear of extinction, mutilation, loss of autonomy, separation and ego-death.
The fear of extinction or mutilation, for elaboration, deals with fears towards things like height, water, death. I would also put the fear of the supernatural under these; I mean, why would you fear a ghost that just wants to drink tea with you?
Then as we go along the list, we have the fear of a loss of autonomy, meaning a fear for losing ones freedom, be it being physically paralyzed, or just being controlled in a societal context. Not forgetting the fear of separation and ego-death, which scares people more psychologically like the fear of being alone, of humiliation, of rejection.
Finally! We, humans, are able to get scared, and know what kind of fright we are experiencing! What an amazing time to be alive! Now all we have to do, is figure out the moves and counter-moves against our deepest darkest fears, and then we can devote our time to solving other problems like how to get our fast food delivered, without having to open the door or pay extra cost.
I'm not a courageous man. I'm really not. I could tell you many things I've done that may make me sound otherwise but that would be irrelevant in my opinion. Different fears plague the lives of different men and fear, is relative, What may seem like a frightening physics defying stunt to a spectator could be just another days work for the circus performer. Just like performing a rock concert may be a nightmare for a quiet shy introvert but not the lead singer of 30 Seconds To Mars (Why? because Jared Leto's a legend). Courage doesn't lie in doing things that intimidate others, it lays within the things that frighten you most.
And what frightens me the most?
Like most people, I too, am scared by the usual. Start of with appetizers of horror stories and low lighting in the middle of the night, then begin the main course when your senses go into overdrive and you over interpret the softest of sounds. Then go on to the dessert when your mom walks into your room suddenly and SCARES THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU. GOD DAMN IT MOM STOP COMING IN LIKE THAT.
I digress; I used to think that my primary fear was of attention. Being in front of large groups of people, all eyes on you, judging, waiting for you to reveal what kind of a disappointment you really are. But recently, I don't believe that anymore. I like attention, I crave being the guy everyone knows, the excitement of being the center of attraction, the life of the party. What I fear instead, is rejection.
I don't fear the many singing performances that I've had in my life, I fear people not liking my performance. I fear, not being accepted after a university interview, and I've done all I can, to avoid any interviews. I fear, that a girl would not reciprocate my feeling for her, and despite my outward desperation for a relationship, I know that deep down I will avoid any less-than-three hoo-has.
I was recently successful in my application for Medicine in an overseas university, and now I fear failure..... Going to an unknown place, new people, new teaching methods, new expectations. I fear the look of rejection on my families face should I be unable to keep up with anything there. I fear the rejection of people towards how I behave, and I fear that when I come back, everything would be different, in a vast and daunting new way.
But the same heat that makes the potato soft, turns the egg hard and fear, is just an intangible idea. The ghost making strange noises outside isn't wearing a red dress with long overflowing hair, it cannot rattle cups nor close doors, and when you peek out into your living room, you'll realize that there's nothing but abstract, non-existent fear there. Or you'll realize that it's your mom doing shit in the middle of the night again.
I guess, only time will prove if I'm just a useless potato, or an egg.
